i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Randomize
