I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
Randomize
