Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
Randomize
