It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize
