Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
You left your phone here
Wait...
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