Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
