Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
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