I'm sorry my penis didn't work
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
In other news, I just burned my penis
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
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