i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
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