we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Randomize
