Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Randomize