i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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