Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
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