You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
i think i just lost a toe
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Randomize
