Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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