I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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