So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Randomize
