Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
Randomize
