I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
How naked do you want me to be?
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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