Taylor Swift is so right about you.
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
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