we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
