Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
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