My liver just broke up with me...
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
