I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
