kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
