Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Randomize
