Whatcha textin bout Willis?
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
I lost the right to judge tonight
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
Randomize
