Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
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