I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
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