Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
