what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
you inspire me to be a worse person
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
Randomize
