I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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