I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
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