Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
there is puke in my bra ... again
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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