When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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