That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
