I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
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