Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize