We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Randomize
