yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Randomize
