Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
