I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Randomize
