She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
