wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Randomize
