Fuck appropriateness.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Randomize