It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize