dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
don't judge my taste in strippers
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Randomize
