so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize