I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Randomize
