But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
He kissed a someone with a penis
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
