your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
I just saw a hot homeless man
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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