All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
My liver just had a heart attack.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Randomize
