Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
you win again, gameday.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
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