yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
