Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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