Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
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