awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
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