Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Randomize
