I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
