Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Randomize