he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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