I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
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