I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
