Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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