She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
is wine microwaveable?
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Randomize
