maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
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