It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
Randomize
