Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Randomize
